How to Be Charming & Charismatic - VUsolutions

Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, they can walk into a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate them. That’s charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration.

Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.

1. Improve your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you don’t feel that way on the inside). While walking, maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture: spine long, shoulders back, head level with the ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when you first practice it, but keep trying.
2. Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. Face the world and show everyone you’re not afraid.
3. Make a connection. When your eyes come in contact with another person’s, nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth. Don’t worry about the other person’s reaction and don’t overdo it.
4. Remember people’s names when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the person’s name when stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: “Hi Jack, I’m Wendy.” Follow through with small talk and repeat the person’s name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. It’s not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a person’s name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance they’ll warm up to you.
5. Be interested in people. If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests. Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Be careful in that subject though you don’t want to be nosy. If you ask too much they will become uncomfortable. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most people don’t like to think about those things at social occasions unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain from talking up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the person with whom you are speaking.
6. Orient topics toward the audience. This means taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last night’s game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn more about it.
7. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you never have a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.
8. Don’t Lie. A lie is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you like Jane and Billy that you don’t like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be ruined. No one will believe a word you say.
9. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others’ self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves haircut, manner of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general compliment.
10. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere “thank you” and enjoin this with “I’m glad you like it” or “It is so kind of you to have noticed.” These are “compliments in return.” Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response “Oh well I wish I was as ______ as you/that situation.” That is tantamount to saying, “No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong.”
11. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside and have an inability to accept praise. For this very reason, when you praise, do it subtly and glibly. When you say, “you look nice today” it should be in the exact same tone that you would use to say “it’s a nice day.” Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice until you get it right.. It might not sound right to you, in that case, ask someone for judgement.

Tips

• Developing charisma is an art. The general guidelines above can help you be more charismatic, but your charisma must come from within you and must reflect you as an individual or it will appear fake. Fortunately, everyone has the ability to be charismatic, and it simply needs to be coaxed out. Practice and take note of what works and what needs improvement.
• Don’t mimic others. People with well developed charisma have a remarkable ability not only to sway people’s opinions but also to cause others to emulate their personalities and even gestures. At the same time, however, research has shown that charismatic people do not emulate other charismatic people. Their individuality sets them apart.
• Have a message. Don’t be afraid to be controversial, to push the envelope. If you believe in something or feel strongly about it, communicate that in a respectful way. Your charisma will help people be accepting of your ideas.

How to Be Charming & Charismatic - VUsolutions

Have you ever noticed how some people captivate everyone they speak to? No matter what they look like or how much money they have, they can walk into a room and instantly be the center of attention. When they leave, people think highly of them and want to emulate them. That’s charisma, a sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and adoration.

Like beauty, luck, and social position, charisma can open many doors in life. Unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic.

1. Improve your posture. Good posture will give the impression of self confidence (even if you don’t feel that way on the inside). While walking, maintain a relaxed yet definitive upright posture: spine long, shoulders back, head level with the ground. This may feel awkward or overpowering to you when you first practice it, but keep trying.
2. Relax the muscles in your face to the point where you have a natural, pleasant expression permanently engraved there. Face the world and show everyone you’re not afraid.
3. Make a connection. When your eyes come in contact with another person’s, nod and smile subtly with a subdued joy shining forth. Don’t worry about the other person’s reaction and don’t overdo it.
4. Remember people’s names when you meet them for the first time. This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people. Repeat the person’s name when stating your name to that person will help you to remember it better. For example: “Hi Jack, I’m Wendy.” Follow through with small talk and repeat the person’s name. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. It’s not just about helping you to remember that person. The more you say a person’s name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance they’ll warm up to you.
5. Be interested in people. If you meet a new acquaintance, for example a coworker, a classmate, a friend of a friend, etc. find out about their immediate family and interests. Be sure to ask after the names of family members and remember them. Be careful in that subject though you don’t want to be nosy. If you ask too much they will become uncomfortable. Also ask after their particular interests in life. These two topics will ensure much better small talk than just harping on about school or work. Most people don’t like to think about those things at social occasions unless they have to. Even if it is about networking, you should understand fully the worth of taking a break from talking shop. It is important to refrain from talking up about yourself. Be purely interested and impressed by the person with whom you are speaking.
6. Orient topics toward the audience. This means taking into account topics that interest those around you, even if you are not so keen on them. If you are in a sporty crowd, talk about last night’s game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you are amongst a group of hobbyists, draw out their hobbies and make remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, etc. Nobody expects you to be an expert. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around. Exercise an open mind. Let others do the explaining. If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you are hoping to learn more about it.
7. Praise others instead of gossiping. If you are talking with someone or you are talking in a group of people, and up pops the subject of another person in a positive or negative way, be the one to mention something you like about that person. Hearsay is the most powerful tool in gaining charm because it is always viewed as 100% sincere. It has the added benefit of creating trust in you. The idea will spread that you never have a bad word to say about anyone. Everyone will know that their reputation is safe with you.
8. Don’t Lie. A lie is something you say for which there is some direct evidence somewhere out there that contradicts it. If you tell Mary that you like Jane and Billy that you don’t like Jane, Mary and Billy will talk and your reputation will be ruined. No one will believe a word you say.
9. Issue compliments generously, especially to raise others’ self esteem. Try to pick out something that you appreciate in any situation and verbally express that appreciation. If you like something or someone, find a creative way to say it and say it immediately. If you wait too long, it may be viewed as insincere and badly timed, especially if others have beaten you to it. If you notice that someone is putting a lot of effort into something, compliment it, even if you feel that there is room for improvement. If you notice that someone has changed something about themselves haircut, manner of dress) notice it, and point out something you like about it. If you are asked directly, be charming and deflect the question with a very general compliment.
10. Be gracious in accepting compliments. Get out of the habit of assuming that the compliment is being given without genuine intent. Even when someone makes a compliment out of contempt, there is always a germ of jealous truth hiding in their own heart. Be effusive in accepting the compliment. Go beyond a mere “thank you” and enjoin this with “I’m glad you like it” or “It is so kind of you to have noticed.” These are “compliments in return.” Avoid backhanding a compliment. There is nothing worse to a person complimenting than to receive the response “Oh well I wish I was as ______ as you/that situation.” That is tantamount to saying, “No, I am not what you are saying I am, and your judgment is wrong.”
11. Control your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is crucial. Most people feel insecure somewhere inside and have an inability to accept praise. For this very reason, when you praise, do it subtly and glibly. When you say, “you look nice today” it should be in the exact same tone that you would use to say “it’s a nice day.” Any variation from your normal tone will arouse suspicion about your sincerity. Practice giving compliments into a recorder and play it back. Does it sound sincere? Practice until you get it right.. It might not sound right to you, in that case, ask someone for judgement.

Tips

• Developing charisma is an art. The general guidelines above can help you be more charismatic, but your charisma must come from within you and must reflect you as an individual or it will appear fake. Fortunately, everyone has the ability to be charismatic, and it simply needs to be coaxed out. Practice and take note of what works and what needs improvement.
• Don’t mimic others. People with well developed charisma have a remarkable ability not only to sway people’s opinions but also to cause others to emulate their personalities and even gestures. At the same time, however, research has shown that charismatic people do not emulate other charismatic people. Their individuality sets them apart.
• Have a message. Don’t be afraid to be controversial, to push the envelope. If you believe in something or feel strongly about it, communicate that in a respectful way. Your charisma will help people be accepting of your ideas.

20 Great Ways to Find More Free Time - VUsolutions

“The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours.” - Arthur Lacey

Are there a hundred different things you wish you could do with your life someday — anything from exercising to meditation or yoga to writing that novel you always wished you could write to reading more to relaxing and watching the sunrise? But perhaps you never have the time, like most people.

The truth is, we all have the same amount of time, and it’s finite and in great demand. But some of us have made the time for doing the things we love doing, and others have allowed the constant demands and pressures and responsibilities of life to dictate their days.

It’s time to move from the second group back into the first. Reclaim your time. Create the life you want and make the most of the free time you lay claim to. It’s not hard, though it does take a little bit of effort and diligence.

Not all of these will be applicable to your life — choose the ones you can apply and give them a try:

1. Take a time out. Freeing up your time starts with taking a step back to take a good look at your life. You need to block off at least an hour. Several hours or half a day is better. A whole day would be awesome. A weekend would be even more ideal, though not necessary practical for many folks. With this block of time, take a look at your life with some perspective. Is it what you’ve always wanted? How would you get to where you’ve always wanted to be? What do you enjoy doing, but don’t have enough time to do? What things actually fill up your day? Are there things you could drop or minimize to make more time? We’ll look at some of these things in the following items, but it starts with taking a time out to think and plan.

2. Find your essentials. What is it that you love to do? Make a short list of 4-5 things. These are the things you want to make room for.

3. Find your time-wasters. What do you spend a lot of your time on that isn’t on your essential list? Take a close look at these things and really think about whether they’re necessary, or if there are ways to reduce, minimize or eliminate these things. Sometimes you do things because you assume they’re necessary, but if you give it some thought you can find ways to drop them from your life. Figure out what you do simply to waste time — maybe surfing certain sites, watching TV, talking a lot at the water cooler, etc. You’re going to want to minimize these time-wasters to make room for the more important stuff, the stuff that makes you happy and that you love to do.

4. Schedule the time. As you sit down and think about your life and what you want to do, versus what you actually do, you will be looking at ways to free up time. It’s crucial that you take a blank weekly schedule (you can just write it out on a piece of paper, or use your calendar) and assign blocks for the things you love — the stuff on your essentials list. If you want to exercise, for example, when will you do it? Put the blocks of time on your schedule, and make these blocks the most important appointments of your week. Schedule the rest of your life around these blocks.

5. Consolidate. There are many things you do, scattered throughout your day or your week, that you might be able to consolidate in order to save time. A good example is errands — instead of running one or two a day, do them all in one day to save time and gas. Another example is email, or any kind of communication — batch process your email instead of checking and reading and responding throughout the day. Same thing with meetings, paperwork, anything that you do regularly.

6. Cut out meetings. This isn’t possible for everyone, but in my experience meetings take up a lot of time to get across a little information, or to make easy decisions that could be made via email or phone. As much as you can, minimize the number of meetings you hold and attend. In some cases this might mean talking to your boss and telling her that you have other priorities, and asking to be excused. In other cases this might mean asking the people holding the meeting if you can get the info in other ways. If so, you’ve saved yourself an hour or so per meeting (sometimes more).

7. De clutter your schedule. If you have a heavily packed schedule, full of meetings and errands and tasks and projects and appointments, you’re going to want to weed it out so that it’s not so jam-packed. Find the stuff that’s not so essential and cancel them. Postpone other stuff. Leave big blank spaces in your schedule.

8. Re-think your routine. Often we get stuck in a routine that’s anything but what we really want our days to be like. Is there a better way of doing things? You’re the creator of your life — make a new routine that’s more pleasant, more optimal, more filled with things you love.

9. Cut back on email. I mentioned email in an earlier point above, regarding consolidating, but it’s such a major part of most people’s lives that it deserves special attention. How often do you check email? How much time do you spend composing emails? If you spend a major part of your work day on email, as many people do (and as I once did), you can free up a lot of time by reducing the time you spend in email. Now, this won’t work for everyone, but it can work for many people: choose 2-3 key times during the day to process your inbox to empty, and keep your responses to 5 sentences.

10. Learn to say no. If you say “yes” to every request, you will never have any free time. Get super protective about your time, and say “no” to everything but the essential requests.

11. Keep your list to 3. When you make out your daily to-do list, just list the three Most Important Tasks you want to accomplish today. Don’t make a laundry list of tasks, or you’ll fill up all your free time. By keeping your task list small, but populated only by important tasks, you ensure that you are getting the important stuff done but not overloading yourself.

12. Do your Biggest Rock first. Of the three Most Important Tasks you choose for the day, pick the biggest one, or the one you’re dreading most, and do that first. Otherwise you’ll put that off as much as possible and fill your day with less important things. Don’t allow yourself to check email until that Big Rock is taken care of. It starts your day with a sense of major accomplishment, and leaves you with a lot of free time the rest of the day, because the most important thing is already done.

13. Delegate. If you have subordinates or coworkers who can do a task or project, try to delegate it. Don’t feel like you need to do everything yourself. If necessary, spend a little time training the person to whom you’re delegating the task, but that little time spent training will pay off in a lot of time saved later. Delegating allows you to focus on the core tasks and projects you should be focusing on.

14. Cut out distractions. What is there around your workspace that distracts you from the task at hand? Sometimes it’s visual clutter, or papers lying around that call for your attention and action, or email or IM notifiers on your computer that pop up at the wrong time, or the phone, or coworkers. See if you can eliminate as many of these as possible — the more you can focus, the more effective you’ll be and the less time you’ll waste. That equals time saved for the good stuff.

15. Disconnect. The biggest of distractions, for most people, is the Internet. My most productive times are when I’m disconnected from the grid. Now, I’m not saying you need to be disconnected all the time, but if you really want to be able to effectively complete tasks, disconnect your Internet so you can really focus. Set certain times of the day for connectivity, and only connect during those periods.

16. Outsource. If you can’t delegate, see if you can outsource. With the Internet, we can connect with people from all over the world. I’ve outsourced many things, from small tasks to checking email to legal work to design and editing work and more. That allows me to focus on the things I’m best at, the things I love doing, and saves me a lot of time.

17. Make use of your mornings. I find that mornings are the absolute best times to schedule the things I really want to do. I run, read and write in the mornings — three of the four things on my Essentials List (spending time with family is the other thing on the list). Mornings are great because your day hasn’t been filled with a bunch of unscheduled, demanding, last-minute tasks that will push back those Essentials. For example, if you schedule something for late afternoon, by the time late afternoon rolls around, you might have a dozen other things newly added to your to-do list, and you’ll put off that late-afternoon Essential. Instead, schedule it for the morning, and it’ll rarely (if ever) get pushed back.

18. The Golden Right-after-work Time. Other than mornings, I find the time just after work to be an incredible time for doing Essential things. Exercise, for example, is great in the 5-o’clock hour, as is spending time with family, or doing anything else relaxing.

19. Your evenings. The time before you go to bed is also golden, as it exists every single day, and it’s usually completely yours to schedule. What do you want to do with this time? Read? Spend time with your kids? Work on a hobby you’re passionate about? Take advantage of this time.

20. Lunch breaks. If the three golden times mentioned above don’t work for you, lunch breaks are another good opportunity to schedule things. Some people like to exercise, or to take quiet times, during their lunch breaks. Others use this time to work on an important personal goal or project.

20 Great Ways to Find More Free Time - VUsolutions

“The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours.” - Arthur Lacey

Are there a hundred different things you wish you could do with your life someday — anything from exercising to meditation or yoga to writing that novel you always wished you could write to reading more to relaxing and watching the sunrise? But perhaps you never have the time, like most people.

The truth is, we all have the same amount of time, and it’s finite and in great demand. But some of us have made the time for doing the things we love doing, and others have allowed the constant demands and pressures and responsibilities of life to dictate their days.

It’s time to move from the second group back into the first. Reclaim your time. Create the life you want and make the most of the free time you lay claim to. It’s not hard, though it does take a little bit of effort and diligence.

Not all of these will be applicable to your life — choose the ones you can apply and give them a try:

1. Take a time out. Freeing up your time starts with taking a step back to take a good look at your life. You need to block off at least an hour. Several hours or half a day is better. A whole day would be awesome. A weekend would be even more ideal, though not necessary practical for many folks. With this block of time, take a look at your life with some perspective. Is it what you’ve always wanted? How would you get to where you’ve always wanted to be? What do you enjoy doing, but don’t have enough time to do? What things actually fill up your day? Are there things you could drop or minimize to make more time? We’ll look at some of these things in the following items, but it starts with taking a time out to think and plan.

2. Find your essentials. What is it that you love to do? Make a short list of 4-5 things. These are the things you want to make room for.

3. Find your time-wasters. What do you spend a lot of your time on that isn’t on your essential list? Take a close look at these things and really think about whether they’re necessary, or if there are ways to reduce, minimize or eliminate these things. Sometimes you do things because you assume they’re necessary, but if you give it some thought you can find ways to drop them from your life. Figure out what you do simply to waste time — maybe surfing certain sites, watching TV, talking a lot at the water cooler, etc. You’re going to want to minimize these time-wasters to make room for the more important stuff, the stuff that makes you happy and that you love to do.

4. Schedule the time. As you sit down and think about your life and what you want to do, versus what you actually do, you will be looking at ways to free up time. It’s crucial that you take a blank weekly schedule (you can just write it out on a piece of paper, or use your calendar) and assign blocks for the things you love — the stuff on your essentials list. If you want to exercise, for example, when will you do it? Put the blocks of time on your schedule, and make these blocks the most important appointments of your week. Schedule the rest of your life around these blocks.

5. Consolidate. There are many things you do, scattered throughout your day or your week, that you might be able to consolidate in order to save time. A good example is errands — instead of running one or two a day, do them all in one day to save time and gas. Another example is email, or any kind of communication — batch process your email instead of checking and reading and responding throughout the day. Same thing with meetings, paperwork, anything that you do regularly.

6. Cut out meetings. This isn’t possible for everyone, but in my experience meetings take up a lot of time to get across a little information, or to make easy decisions that could be made via email or phone. As much as you can, minimize the number of meetings you hold and attend. In some cases this might mean talking to your boss and telling her that you have other priorities, and asking to be excused. In other cases this might mean asking the people holding the meeting if you can get the info in other ways. If so, you’ve saved yourself an hour or so per meeting (sometimes more).

7. De clutter your schedule. If you have a heavily packed schedule, full of meetings and errands and tasks and projects and appointments, you’re going to want to weed it out so that it’s not so jam-packed. Find the stuff that’s not so essential and cancel them. Postpone other stuff. Leave big blank spaces in your schedule.

8. Re-think your routine. Often we get stuck in a routine that’s anything but what we really want our days to be like. Is there a better way of doing things? You’re the creator of your life — make a new routine that’s more pleasant, more optimal, more filled with things you love.

9. Cut back on email. I mentioned email in an earlier point above, regarding consolidating, but it’s such a major part of most people’s lives that it deserves special attention. How often do you check email? How much time do you spend composing emails? If you spend a major part of your work day on email, as many people do (and as I once did), you can free up a lot of time by reducing the time you spend in email. Now, this won’t work for everyone, but it can work for many people: choose 2-3 key times during the day to process your inbox to empty, and keep your responses to 5 sentences.

10. Learn to say no. If you say “yes” to every request, you will never have any free time. Get super protective about your time, and say “no” to everything but the essential requests.

11. Keep your list to 3. When you make out your daily to-do list, just list the three Most Important Tasks you want to accomplish today. Don’t make a laundry list of tasks, or you’ll fill up all your free time. By keeping your task list small, but populated only by important tasks, you ensure that you are getting the important stuff done but not overloading yourself.

12. Do your Biggest Rock first. Of the three Most Important Tasks you choose for the day, pick the biggest one, or the one you’re dreading most, and do that first. Otherwise you’ll put that off as much as possible and fill your day with less important things. Don’t allow yourself to check email until that Big Rock is taken care of. It starts your day with a sense of major accomplishment, and leaves you with a lot of free time the rest of the day, because the most important thing is already done.

13. Delegate. If you have subordinates or coworkers who can do a task or project, try to delegate it. Don’t feel like you need to do everything yourself. If necessary, spend a little time training the person to whom you’re delegating the task, but that little time spent training will pay off in a lot of time saved later. Delegating allows you to focus on the core tasks and projects you should be focusing on.

14. Cut out distractions. What is there around your workspace that distracts you from the task at hand? Sometimes it’s visual clutter, or papers lying around that call for your attention and action, or email or IM notifiers on your computer that pop up at the wrong time, or the phone, or coworkers. See if you can eliminate as many of these as possible — the more you can focus, the more effective you’ll be and the less time you’ll waste. That equals time saved for the good stuff.

15. Disconnect. The biggest of distractions, for most people, is the Internet. My most productive times are when I’m disconnected from the grid. Now, I’m not saying you need to be disconnected all the time, but if you really want to be able to effectively complete tasks, disconnect your Internet so you can really focus. Set certain times of the day for connectivity, and only connect during those periods.

16. Outsource. If you can’t delegate, see if you can outsource. With the Internet, we can connect with people from all over the world. I’ve outsourced many things, from small tasks to checking email to legal work to design and editing work and more. That allows me to focus on the things I’m best at, the things I love doing, and saves me a lot of time.

17. Make use of your mornings. I find that mornings are the absolute best times to schedule the things I really want to do. I run, read and write in the mornings — three of the four things on my Essentials List (spending time with family is the other thing on the list). Mornings are great because your day hasn’t been filled with a bunch of unscheduled, demanding, last-minute tasks that will push back those Essentials. For example, if you schedule something for late afternoon, by the time late afternoon rolls around, you might have a dozen other things newly added to your to-do list, and you’ll put off that late-afternoon Essential. Instead, schedule it for the morning, and it’ll rarely (if ever) get pushed back.

18. The Golden Right-after-work Time. Other than mornings, I find the time just after work to be an incredible time for doing Essential things. Exercise, for example, is great in the 5-o’clock hour, as is spending time with family, or doing anything else relaxing.

19. Your evenings. The time before you go to bed is also golden, as it exists every single day, and it’s usually completely yours to schedule. What do you want to do with this time? Read? Spend time with your kids? Work on a hobby you’re passionate about? Take advantage of this time.

20. Lunch breaks. If the three golden times mentioned above don’t work for you, lunch breaks are another good opportunity to schedule things. Some people like to exercise, or to take quiet times, during their lunch breaks. Others use this time to work on an important personal goal or project.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking - VUsolutions

The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.” – Dalai Lama

Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.

Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.

Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

Simple Mantras to Secure Financial Freedom - VUsolutions

“A successful investor is not one who never loses, but who stays invested in the market.”

Contrary to popular belief, one does not have to earn a lot of money to become wealthy. Here are some simple Mantras to secure your financial freedom!

Dont procrastinate on wealth creation – Many people procratinate on saving money. They always wait for the next year, next increment, next bonus to start savings and then the cycle repeats again. You do not need to start investing large amounts, start small. Even a years delay makes a huge difference as wealth compounds with time.

Prepone Investments, Postpone expenses - Set targets on how much you want to invest and invest it as soon as you get the money. Do not spend first and save (whatever is left) later.

You do not need crores – It’s a myth that you need lots of money to start investing. Even small amounts over time become large due to the magic of compounding.

Go for the long term – Especially in Equity it is important to invest for the long term. They give the best returns in the long term. For short term look at debt.

Invest Regularly – This is very important. You can invest in SIP’s which average out your risk. For eg. investing 10,000 rupees a month would yield 1 crore in 15 years at a annual rate of 20%.

Don’t link your lifestyle to stock market - When the stock market is rising, our notional wealth increases. Soon we start believing that growth of our wealth is real and long term. This false state of suddenly feeling wealthy leads to change in lifestyle. One of the perils of increasing expenses on your lifestyle during stock market boom is that we get used to comforts and luxuries in life. When economic situation turns bad we will then struggle to curtail our expenses. In fact in reality while markets are rising, we should control our expenses and let our wealth grow. On the other hand when equity markets are down, our wealth is not growing in real terms. Things are also cheaper generally during such periods.

Ignore Rumours - If you are confident about the company you have invested in, leave it. Ignore rumours.

Research & Learn – Learn about budgeting, credit, and debt. Learn how credit cards work! If you get into debt early it can sabotage your progress. Whenever you buy a stock or fund, don’t do it on a tip or whim, but do solid research to back up your buy. Investing can be very interesting and rewarding!

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking - VUsolutions

The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.” – Dalai Lama

Life could be so much better for many people, if they would just spot their negative thinking habits and replace them with positive ones.

Negative thinking, in all its many-splendored forms, has a way of creeping into conversations and our thinking without our noticing them. The key to success, in my humble opinion, is learning to spot these thoughts and squash them like little bugs. Then replace them with positive ones. You’ll notice a huge difference in everything you do.

Let’s take a look at 10 common ways that negative thinking emerges — get good at spotting these patterns, and practice replacing them with positive thinking patterns. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

10 Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can’t be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you’ll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn’t have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.
2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn’t even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure — I can’t seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you’ve accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It’s an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I’m going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I’m better than him. And there’s no way I’ll help him succeed — he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can’t also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don’t let it hold you back. Don’t dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can’t do anything right! Why can’t you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we’d be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It’s super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I’ve actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let’s look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It’s also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That’s a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don’t let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don’t think I can do this — I don’t have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don’t think you can do something, you probably won’t. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you’ll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don’t need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.